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《关于房市的笑话》

发布时间:2018-02-15 13:39 类别:恋爱部落

  朋友[PengYou]三四的在一起聚会。

  Three or four friends gathering together.

  阿黄:欣逢盛世,怎不大碗喝酒,不醉无归!

  huang:On the happy occasion of prosperity,Why don't the bowlful,Not drunk down!

  阿幺:什么[ShiMe]盛世啊,你娃娃身在体制内,又开始唱赞歌了。

  O MAO:What time?,Your baby is within the system,Sing praises again.

  阿黄:你娃儿难道不是混体制的?

  huang:Your kids don't mix system?

  阿幺:我是!我是混体制的边缘人。

  O MAO:I am a!I'm from the edge of the mixed system.

  阿高:你俩啊,狗咬狗、一嘴毛。

  O high:The two of you!,Dog eat dog/A mouth of MAO.

  我:我倒是想喝醉,不过,阿黄你总得给个理由先。

  I:I'd like to get drunk,However,,Huang you must give a reason first.

  阿黄:君不闻,那印度阿三想挑衅我大国天威,陈兵边境数日,结果[JieGuo]呢,在我强大的实力面前,最终还不是扛不住,灰溜溜撤兵,连台阶都没找到一个。

  huang:You don't smell,The three want to provoke me big tianwei,India,Chen bing border a few days,The result?,In front of my strength,Finally also not hit,Despondently the withdrawal,Did not even find a step.

  我:这样啊,的确该饮酒庆祝一番。可国家如此威猛,服饰搭配能不能给我等广大草民发点福利啊。

  I:So...,Does the drinking to celebrate.But country is so brave,Can I have the right to send some benefits.

  阿黄:你想要什么[ShiMe]福利?

  huang:What benefits do you want?

  我:比如说降房价[FangJia]。

  I:Such as reduced prices.

  阿黄:这哪儿跟哪儿啊,二者没半毛钱关系。

  huang:This where to where,They haven't anything to do.

  我:怎么没关系呢?这样吧,我讲个笑话[XiaoHua]给你们听。

  I:It doesn't matter how??Let it be,I tell you a joke.

  阿幺:好啊,好啊,我最喜欢笑话了。

  O MAO:Good!,Good!,I like the joke.

  我:西行路上,唐僧师徒四人遇一伙悍匪,经过一番激斗,唐僧师徒终究不敌缴械投降,悍匪们二话不说,绑起猪八戒就走,猪八戒大惊,急叫:“我不是唐僧!我不是唐僧!你们抓错人了!”悍匪头目啐了一口痰,骂道:“靠!抓的就是你!你他妈不知道猪肉涨价了吗?兄弟们已经好几个月没吃肉了!”

  I:XiHang Road on,Tang's monk teacher and pupil four people in a group of confrontation,After some fireworks,Tang's monk teacher and pupil by surrendered after all,Rather than confrontation,Tie up the pig eight quit to go,Pig eight quit to frightened,Urgent call:“I am not a monk!I am not a monk!You grasp the wrong person!”Confrontation spat leader sputum,Scold a way:“by!Catch is you!You his mama don't know the increase in the price of pork?Brothers haven't eat meat for several months!”

  阿黄:你这笑话[XiaoHua]和房价[FangJia]也没什么关系啊?

  huang:Your jokes and house prices also has nothing to do this?

  我:怎么没有关系——靓容美发因为房价涨了,猪肉也涨价了,所有的东西都跟着涨价了。

  I:How did not concern——Because prices rise,Pork prices,All things follow up.

  切,原来是这样,所有的人都恍然大悟。

  cut,Turned out to be such,Then it dawned on everyone.

  阿幺:我有一个梦,经常做。

  O MAO:I have a dream,Often do.

  阿高:看你一副猥琐样,肯定做的是和美女XXOO的梦吧。

  O high:See you a sample,Must do is and beauty to have dreams.

  阿幺:哥没你阴暗。哥做的梦与房事无关,与房市有关——

  O MAO:Elder brother didn't you,dark.Elder brother's dream has nothing to do with sex,Related to the housing——

  我:快说是什么梦啊,别大喘气的好不好。

  I:What is it a dream,Don't big pant is good.

  阿幺:我梦见自己成了土豪,终于在伟大的首都买了一套独立别墅,800平,带游泳池、花园和羽毛球馆。

  O MAO:I dreamed I became a local tyrants,Finally in the great capital bought a set of independent villa,800 -,With a swimming pool/The garden and badminton hall.

  阿黄:这要是放在过去,简直就相当于皇宫啊。

  huang:If this in the past,It is equivalent to the palace.

  阿幺:哥们别急,我还没讲完呢——我就排在人潮中等着交钱领钥匙,终于轮到我了,我兴奋的递上银行卡说不差钱,可经理一刷卡,一脸惊恐的看着我,说你这是冥币啊,想买别墅,等死了再说吧。

  O MAO:The elder brothers don't worry,I haven't finished yet——I'm waiting in the crowds to pay money to bring the key,It was my turn at last,I am excited said pass bank card money,A credit card can be manager,A face of panic looking at me,Say you MingBi it is,Want to buy villa,Such as dead.

  我:死了你也买不起视线,听说阴间房价也涨的凶,都鬼哭狼嚎的。

  I:Die you also can't afford it,I heard that the grave house prices also rose,All of the brotherhood of the Wolf.

  阿幺:后来我问经理,能不能让我进别墅参观一下?结果[JieGuo]那经理说:“门都没有!你不会点开手机看图片啊,一样的过瘾。”

  O MAO:Then I ask the manager,Can you let me into visit the villa?Results the manager says:“no!You don't leave your cell phone to see pictures,The same enjoyable.”

  接下来阿高给我们讲了个笑话。

  The next high o tell a joke to us.

  阿高:夜里我做梦,梦见一个白胡子老爷爷一本正经的给我说:“马上要降房价[FangJia]了!”早上起床我赶紧说给了邻居家,结果[JieGuo]他们听完哈哈大笑,一直笑到把早饭吐出来。见他们不信,我就在网上说给朋友[PengYou]们听,朋友[PengYou]们一致大骂我“时尚资讯白日做梦!”上班了,我说给同事们听,结果[JieGuo]这时领导走过来,瞪我一眼说:“空谈误国!赶紧的,开会了。”开会中我又打了个盹,结果[JieGuo]梦到上帝他老人家,我就问他这事是不是真的?上帝回答我:“降房价[FangJia]这事的确是有的,不过是在天堂。你要是不信,就上天堂来看看。”

  O high:I dream at night,Dream of a white beard old man seriously said to me:“Is about to drop prices!”In the morning I said to the neighbor's quickly,As a result they listened and laughed,Always smile to vomit for breakfast.See they not believe,I will tell my friends on the Internet,My friends are consistent“daydreaming!”Go to work,I said it to colleagues,The results lead came along,Stare at me say:“Talk is harmful!hurry,The meeting.”I played a nap in the meeting,Results the dreamt of god's his old man's house,I ask him that is true?God answer me:“Fall is indeed some prices about it,But is in heaven.If you don't believe,Will go to heaven to see.”

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